Cigarette Break
by LostInGreenEyes
Summary: A Naomily one-shot about cigarette breaks and marriage plans that turned into a two-shot somehow
1. Chapter 1

**So...I'm afraid I lost touch with my fic "A Place To Be" a bit, so I decided to write a fluffy one-shot instead. I hope you like it! **

**Just so you know: I still don't own Skins, although it was on my Christmas wishlist, but I bought the DVD-set instead, season 1 to 4, and guess what - I liked it! ;-)**

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She retrieved a cigarette from the brand new packet and twirled it carefully between her fingers, finally held it to her nose and inhaled the alluring scent. She wanted to quit. Well, not really, but she'd promised. _Fuck it._ She sighed heavily and broke it in two before she crumbled the remaining pieces and watched the tobacco rain onto her lap.

_Damn__, Naomi, how old are you, five or twenty-four? _If she kept on doing that, her monthly expenses for fags would even increase instead of transform into a neat pile of saved money. Coins she was supposed to feed to the cute little piggy bank Emily had found her on a garage sale a week ago, repainted in a vibrant red and placed it meaningfully on her beside table. Every morning when she'd finally pried her eyes open it seemed to be glaring at her, challenging her to get a fucking grip and insert the coins into its hungry belly with a satisfying _clunk _instead of ridiculously buying a new packet day by day and throwing its contents into the garden as if she hoped she'd finally succeed in nursing a fucking cigarette tree. She shook her head and ran a hand through her pale blond hair which was streaked with occasional darker strands and fell in light waves upon her shoulders. _Time to dye it again. _

The creak of the terrace door being pulled open made her start and pulled her out of her reveries. _Fuckfuckfuck._She hurriedly reached for the packet and tried to stuff it inconspicuously into her pocket while arranging her features into the most innocent expression she was capable of. One look at Emily's face and her questioningly risen eyebrow and she knew that she'd failed miserably, and the packet slipping out of her pocket and spilling the whole lot of remaining fags on the ground didn't really help her case. She closed her eyes and sighed resignedly.

"I didn't do anything, I swear! I don't even have a lighter." she pleaded and held her hands up in defeat.

"Right." Emily fixed her with a stern look, her eyes wandering from the remnants of tobacco on Naomi's lap to the fags strewn on the ground. "So you decided to do what now? Sniff it through your nose? Rub two sticks against each other like a Neanderthal to make a fire?"

Naomi could see the effort it took her girlfriend to keep a straight face and not break into a wide smile.

"You do realize that you're torturing me here, yeah?" Naomi replied, trying for a more compassionate approach now.

"Nai, don't give me that puppy-dog look! You're doing it for your own good, you know?" Emily laughed.

"Yes, mum." the blonde huffed and tried to duck under the playful hit Emily had directed at her shoulder and ended up being hit straight on the nose instead.

"Ahh, Jesus!" Naomi groaned and held her nose while her eyes involuntarily welled up from the unexpected blow.

"Aw, come here, you're such a baby sometimes." Emily sat down on the bench beside her girlfriend and gently pulled her into her arms.

"First you force me to quit smoking, now you hit me! I'm a victim of an abusive relationship! I read about those!" Naomi mumbled against the crook of Emily's neck.

"Aw, really? You poor, poor thing." Emily replied while her fingers played absent-mindedly with a strand of soft blond hair.

"Yeah. That's me." Naomi pouted pitifully.

"So you're going to sue me now?"

Naomi loved the playful lilt in Emily's voice and secretly hoped that they'd never get tired of their little games. "Depends."

"On what?"

"On what you're willing to do to make it up to me."

"So now you're blackmailing me?" Emily replied with feigned indignation.

"Yes." Naomi nodded happily.

"How about kissing it better then?"

"That would be a start."

"All right then." Emily leant back and lifted Naomi's chin with a tip of her finger so that they were facing each other on eye level and blew a soft kiss on her nose. "Better?"

"Hmm….no."

Emily leant in again and kissed the blonde's cheek.

"What about now?"

Naomi shook her head. "Nope."

"You _are_ kind of demanding, aren't you?"

"No! You just suck at kissing the pain away." Naomi countered and defiantly lifted her chin, challenging Emily for a suitable reply.

"What?" Emily laughed. "You want me to hit you again, obviously!"

"Demands for damages concerning assault can be expensive, you know. And I don't think that you'd be able to afford that, especially now that we've bought this house and-" The rest of the sentence was lost when Emily pressed her mouth to Naomi's whose lips instantly formed into a satisfied grin.

"There's only one way to shut you up, isn't there?" Emily said with a smile as she leant back again, much too soon for Naomi's liking.

"Oh, I could think of a one or two other ways too." Naomi replied cheekily. "And don't you dare think that you get away as cheap as this. What kind of a lousy kiss was this?"

"A 'remember Katie is due in a minute-kiss', obviously." Emily chuckled and pecked her girlfriend on the lips again.

"Ah, fucking hell, I forgot." Naomi groaned with frustration and rested her head against the brick wall. "Although…" She threw a quick glance at her wristwatch. "I _can_ be fast, you know?" She waggled her eyebrow in a what she hoped halfway seductive way that didn't make her look like too much of an idiot, but Emily's outburst of laughter made it quite clear that she hadn't been too successful with that.

"Forget it!" Emily laughed and got up from the bench, but as soon as she'd turned her back towards Naomi, the blonde grabbed her hand and propelled her girlfriend down on her lap with such a flourish that their foreheads almost collided.

"Well, hello again." Naomi smiled and bit her lip.

"Naomi…." Emily protested weakly, but they both knew that the blonde had played her strongest trump card because she could never resist _that_ look. "We really shouldn't…" This time, it was Naomi who silenced her with a kiss, starting all innocent with just their lips sliding against one another before Naomi gently tugged at Emily's lower lip with her teeth, knowing fully well that it drove Emily crazy, and slowly slipped her tongue inside the redhead's mouth, relishing Emily's quiet whimper when their tongues touched and her hands found their way under Emily's shirt. _God, this never gets old. Never._

She didn't need to be asked twice when Emily got up and tugged her along, only breaking their kiss when they stumbled over the threshold on their way inside and almost landed in a heap on the floor.

"Smooth." Emily laughedand dragged a chuckling Naomi behind herself towards their bedroom as soon as they'd regained their balance.

"Okay, babes, smooth it's going to be then!" Naomi smirked and tried another stunt with her eyebrow.

"What's this now?" Emily laughed while she hurriedly unbuttoned Naomi's shirt. "Full macho mode?"

"As long as it works to get into your pants." Naomi shrugged nonchalantly, with a cheeky smile plastered on her face, and yelped as Emily grabbed her arse through her skirt.

"Careful, Missy. Payback's a bitch, you know…"

_She's going to be the death of me, I swear._

**ooOOOoo**

"Hey, Katie, sorry, I…..mum! Hi…I mean….hi….erm. Were we…I mean…I didn't…."

"Jesus, Em, you're not serious, yeah?" Katie huffed and squeezed past her sister into the hallway and strutted into the living-room where she collapsed onto the couch and rifled through a pile of magazines before she rolled her eyes in annoyance. "No wonder you're constantly going at it, with all that boring shit you got here."

"Emily, are you all right? You seem a bit…out of it. Have you been out for a jog?" Her mother was staring at her questioningly.

"What? No! I mean..yes! I'm just…surprised to see you, you know." Emily stammered while she felt a blush creep up her cheeks.

"Surprised, my ass." Katie snorted from behind.

"No! I mean…if I'd known you were coming I'd prepared lunch or something."

"Yeah, right, as if you two had found the time to even slice the veggies or something." Katie chuckled.

"Katie, do you mind?" Emily hissed in her sister's direction who only shrugged.

"No worries, Emily, I just thought I'd come by for half an hour and help you decorate a bit. But if you're too busy I can just…."

"What? No! No, it's fine, really. Come in. Naomi's upstairs, she was tired and….."

"Yeah, I bet she was." Katie mumbled under her breath, feeling her sister's death glare burn her skin and ignoring it completely.

Jenna looked from one twin to the other. She'd stopped trying to comprehend their daughters' cryptic conversations long ago. "Anyway…"

"Hey Katiekins, how are things?" Naomi came down the stairs with a goofy smile on her face which froze as soon as she laid eyes on their second visitor. "Oh….hi Jenna."

"Naomi." Jenna nodded curtly in the blonde's direction and forced a smile on her lips which lasted for about five seconds. _Great, that's a progress. A small one, but nonetheless. Okay, don't fuck it up, Naomi, just don't fuck it up. _

"So…erm..."

"Christ, Naomi." Katie chuckled. "Have you even looked at yourself for once? I mean, I'm already used to that horrible fashion sense of yours, but now you've topped even that!"

Naomi looked down at herself self-consciously and blushed deeply crimson while she redid the buttons on her shirt she'd managed to mess up altogether and ran her hands through her still dishevelled hair. "Sorry, I took a nap and….you know."

"Yeah, right." Katie smirked before she took pity on her. "Fag?"

"Erm….actually, I…yeah….sure." Naomi practically jumped down the last three steps and followed Katie out into the garden where she exhaled deeply. "Thanks for rescuing me."

Katie just snorted. "So, had a nice _nap _then? No, wait, don't answer that. Christ." She shook her head and lit a cigarette before she offered her packet to Naomi. Naomi hesitated only for a second before she declined.

"No, thanks. I'm trying to quit."

"What? Why?"

"Because it's unhealthy?"

Katie looked at her as if she'd grown a second head. "Duh, right, whole new finding, that."

"Emily…she doesn't like it, so…" Naomi shrugged and tried not to inhale Katie's smoke.

"Right. And she threatened you with sex deprivation if you didn't or what?"

"Nah." Naomi chuckled. "She wouldn't want to shoot herself in the foot, would she?"

"Argh, please! Bit full of yourself, aren't you?"

"Quite rightly so, Katie. Trust me." Naomi replied with a wink. Katie made a gagging sound and took a deep drag from her cigarette as if to tempt her. They sat in silence for a while, Katie relishing her dose of nicotine while Naomi tried to fight the little devil sitting on her shoulder who tried to convince her that one cigarette more or less wouldn't make much of a difference after all. But no, she'd lasted for five days now and wouldn't fuck that up again.

"Wow." Katie suddenly exclaimed out of the blue.

"What?"

"I didn't quite believe that you'd make it."

"What are you talking about?"

"At first I thought Emily had gone crazy or something. Kissing a fucking girl, for fuck's sake." Katie smiled. "How old were we? Thirteen?"

"Twelve."

"Jesus."

"Yeah, you made it quite clear that you didn't approve, Katie."

"Of course I didn't! No one's fucking with my little sister, babes. Obviously you didn't get the message, though."

Naomi snorted. "No, not really. Although you've been _very_ convincing."

„So this is it, then?"

„What's what?"

„This. You and Emily. First moving in together in that shitty flat of yours, now buying this house, straight to 'and they lived together happily ever after'? That's it?"

Naomi looked at her to see if the older twin was making fun of her, but for once she seemed serious enough.

"Yes, I guess it is. I _hope_ it is. As long as she'll have me." she added as an afterthought.

"What happened to you being all angsty about being trapped and fucking around just to prove a point then?"

Naomi flinched as Katie brought up that fateful incident she'd banned to a part of her mind she tried not to visit too often. "I did it once, Katie, okay? Once! And I know it was a fucked up thing to do. It's over and done with." She couldn't help the angry undertone which had crept into her voice, although she'd yet to decide who exactly she was angry with now – Katie for rubbing it in her face again or herself for having been so fucking stupid in the first place. "I learned my lesson, Katie." she continued in a softer voice. "She means the world to me, and I won't put that at risk again. Ever."

Katie looked at her silently. Finally she nodded and flicked her fag into the ashtray beneath the bench. "You better won't. Because next time you break her heart, I'll kill you for real, Campbell."

"I'll keep that in mind." Naomi answered with a smile. "How's Effy, by the way?"

"Leave it, Naomi."

"What? Now I'm not allowed to ask how she's doing any more?"

"Just because Emily's gay as a window doesn't mean that I am too, right? So shut it, okay?"

"Okay! Jesus. There would be worse things, you know?"

"Naomi…"

"I'm just saying, no need to bite my head off!"

Katie just shook her head and stared straight ahead, unfocused. "What's next now?"

"Hmm? We'll head over to Cook's tonight for drinks, nothing special, but-"

"Not today, you twat! What's the next step now? Are you marrying her? Kids? The like?"

"Christ, Katie, I don't know!" Naomi laughed, wondering silently how they'd ended up having this conversation instead of the usual light banter they'd kind of perfected during the last years. "I haven't thought about it."

"Liar."

"Okay, so I might have, once or twice maybe, but…"

"But what? I remember you telling me just a minute ago that you're over that 'feeling trapped'-shit."

"I am."

"So let me get this straight – you're together since forever, you're living in a house you bought together, you're still shagging each other's brains out at every opportunity, but? What's the 'but' about then?"

"It's not that easy…what if…ah, Christ." Naomi slowly shook her head. "I don't want her to feel obliged to say yes, okay?"

"What? What the fuck? She loves you, you silly twat! How blind can you possibly be _not_ to see that?"

"I know that she does."

"Babes, you know that you're not making any sense, yeah?"

"I love her too, you wouldn't believe how much I do. But what if I fuck it up again somehow? I did it once, who says I won't be doing it again sometime? What if I'm not strong enough? What if I get restless again and lose it? I just…I don't deserve her. I don't. I can't expect her to bind herself to me forever."

"Fucking hell, Naomi, would you listen to yourself? You told me half a minute ago that you've learned your lesson and that she means the world to you, remember? And you sounded kind of convincing to me, actually."

Naomi sighed but kept silent.

"God, I don't believe it that you make me say this, bitch, but despite the fact that you're an obnoxiously arrogant cow most of the time, I've never seen Emily happier than when she's with you. Whenever you're in a room together, you only have eyes for each other, even if there are the fittest chicks around, you moron. And the way you're acting around her, it's nauseating, really, as if she's the most precious thing you've ever laid eyes on. So don't tell me that bullshit about fucking it up again."

"Wow."

"Yeah, and if you ever tell anyone that I said that, I'll slap you, by the way."

"Do you….do you think she'd say yes if I asked her?"

"God, Naomi, of course she would, you idiot! Did you even listen?"

"I take it I'd have my future sister-in-law's blessing then?" Naomi asked challengingly, pushing her luck.

"'Course not, my sister marrying a woman, for Christ's sake! Okay, I'm kidding, but you should consider buying a ring first, yeah?"

Naomi blushed and bit her lip. "Actually….l already did. About six months ago."

"What? That's half a year, you twat!" Katie shook her head in astonishment. "Naomi, she'd be the happiest woman in the world. Just pluck up the courage and ask her, will you?"

"Tea?"

Naomi and Katie swiveled around at the sound of Emily's voice and stared at the redhead who leaned casually against the doorframe of the terrace door.

"Ems….how long…I mean…." Naomi stammered.

Emily stepped into the garden, leant down towards her girlfriend and kissed her tenderly on the lips, lingering a bit longer than she was usually comfortable with right in front of her sister. "With milk and sugar. Just like you love it."

"Emily…"

"Shh…you don't want it to get cold, do you?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Okay, so I decided to add another chapter after all - enjoy! ;-) And thanks to those of you who took the time to leave a review, I'm so glad you liked it!**

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Part 2

She hadn't planned for it to happen like this. Not at all. Not with Emily accidentally listening in on her as she told her sister about the proposal she had yet to find the courage for. _Fuck. _Thank God Emily hadn't freaked out or anything, her reaction had been nice enough, though a bit inconclusive, before she'd vanished inside again. She'd had it all mapped out in her head and replayed different scenarios over and over again. All of them ended with Emily saying yes, of course, because she didn't dare think about the possibility that she'd decline. But what if Emily felt it was way too soon to give a promise like that? Or perhaps she didn't want to give it ever, for that matter? Or even worse, not to her, of all people? She knew that Emily had forgiven her one-time-blackout, they'd talked about that often enough, but what if deep down in her mind a feeling of doubt was still nagging at her once in a while?

And what if those doubts were justified and she fucked it up again sometime because she couldn't stand to be loved that much and at the same time felt enslaved by the way she felt about her? _Fucking hell._ _Katie is right, I'm not making sense._ _She loves you, you love her, how hard can it be? A fucking coward, that's what you are._ If there was one thing she was absolutely sure of, then it was how she felt about Emily, and that she couldn't imagine a life without her. She'd often wondered if that made proposing to someone the most egoistic thing possible. A desperate attempt to tie someone to you forever.

Which sounded kind of naïve, to be honest, but she'd always considered marriage to be meant for a lifetime, a fact that most people would probably call old-fashioned, but fuck them, really. She couldn't even say where that believe stemmed from. Perhaps because she'd always envied her peers who'd lived in an intact family in contrast to herself. As much as she loved her mother – although she rarely admitted that to anyone – she didn't want to make the same experiences she'd made. A boyfriend who fucked off as soon as he realised that what he thought was a nice little holiday romance turned into something far more serious as her mum got pregnant with her. Several fleeting relationships which always ended in heartbreak and were finally substituted by a weird idea of communal living where every fucking twat was allowed to live in their house and do whatever without paying rent or even helping with the usual household chores.

She didn't want that for herself. She didn't want to feel restless all the time, forever torn between wanting to be on her own on the one side and craving someone's proximity on the other, discarding the person she was currently living with as soon as she felt trapped again, or even worse, being discarded because the other person had outgrown her somehow. The day she'd opened the front door of her mother's house and not been greeted by a conundrum of voices and noises, not stumbled over all kinds of shoes strewn haphazardly in the hallway and the chairs around the large kitchen had not been occupied by a bunch of people she'd never seen before, she'd known at once that her mother's latest phase had been replaced by another. The first pang of relief she'd felt back then had soon turned into an uneasy sense of foreboding, and as she'd walked in on her mum and her politics teacher doing you know what, she hadn't known if she was supposed to cry or to cheer. As it happened, Keiran had turned out to play a surprisingly constant role in her mother's life whose behaviour had changed completely for the better, and after she'd managed to forget about him trying to kiss her in high school she'd got used to having him around as well.

That's what she wanted for herself – a steady and trusting and loving relationship which was solid enough to survive the usual ups and downs and wouldn't pop like a soap bubble as soon as there were some darker clouds lurking on the horizon. _And that's exactly what you've got with Emily, you idiot. Could be one of the many reasons why you want to marry her, right? Besides the fact that you're ridiculously in love with her and-_

"Naomi? Hello? You still alive or what?"

She stared at Katie as if she'd seen her for the first time. "Huh?"

"You're overthinking it, aren't you? It's kind of obvious, actually. Relax, okay? No need to panic now. This was probably not the most traditional way to ask for someone's hand, but, you know-"

Naomi groaned and rested her head in her hands. "Fucking hell, Katie! What am I going to do now? I fucked this up _royally_!"

"You didn't, don't be stupid. You're going inside now and talk to her, okay? I'll leave you to it."

"Jesus _fucking _Christ!"

"Come on." Katie got up and dragged Naomi to her feet. "Off you go!"

With that, she pushed the blonde over the threshold and followed her inside. "I'm off, bye, Emsy. Be nice." Before Emily got even the chance to reply, Katie had closed the front door behind herself. Emily stood with her back to her, stirring her tea she'd placed on the kitchen counter. Naomi cleared her throat and took a tentative step towards her before she hesitated, not sure what to do now.

"Where's….where's your mum?"

"Gone. Some emergency appointment with a client of hers." Emily replied without turning around. "She told me to say bye to you, she was in kind of a hurry all of a sudden."

Naomi merely nodded, partly relieved that she wouldn't have to face Jenna now, partly horrified because that meant that she'd have to face Emily alone. She'd never been the one to make the first step, that had always been Emily's part. It was Emily who had placed that first tentative kiss on her lips all those years ago. It was the twelfth birthday of one of their classmates whose name she'd long forgotten. She and Emily had sat outside in the garden, giggling about whatever. She'd always liked Emily, although she couldn't quite explain that weird tingling sensation in her stomach she experienced whenever they met. Nonetheless, the unexpected feeling of Emily's lips on her own had shocked her out of her wits, and she'd only awoken from her trance-like state when Katie had slapped her hard in the face and yelled a string of insults at her, all of them containing either the words "lezzer" or "bitch" or both. The second time it had happened at Panda's pyjama party. They'd both been slightly tipsy when Emily had leant in and kissed her for real this time. The feeling her incredibly soft lips had triggered inside her had been indescribable, and this time she'd found the courage to kiss her back. Even during their night at the lake, a night she'd always remember as one of the most precious in her life, it had been Emily who'd taken hold of her hand first and closed that physical gap between them. At the love ball, Emily had been the one to declare her love for her in front of the whole school and even fought her own sister about it. Emily had always been the brave one, the one who'd risked everything just to be with her. _For me. Always for me._

"Emily, I-"

"No, wait." Emily said and turned around. "Look, it's fine, really. We don't need to talk about this now if you don't want to. I had no right to listen in on you, it just happened, I'm sorry."

_She's offering me an out. Again._

Naomi took a deep breath and shook her head. "No."

Emily looked at her quizzically but remained silent. "Look, it wasn't supposed to happen like this, but…" The redhead opened her mouth to say something but Naomi silenced her with another shake of her head. "No, let me. Please." Naomi exhaled deeply before she continued. "You can't possibly imagine how often I thought about this. Which setting I'd choose to tell you this, I couldn't decide what you'd like best. I guess I'd have opted for our lake in the end, it's where we started for real, isn't it? Anyway…you always told me to be brave. To be brave and want you back. I guess I sucked at that at first. Big time, actually." A pained smile crept on Naomi's face. "I left you alone in my bed the first time you stayed over, and I legged it again after our night at the lake. And to top all that, I fucked up completely later on because I couldn't stand the hold you had on me."

"Naomi.."

"No. Please. You know that I don't believe in any kind of God or anything, but back then I prayed every fucking night that you'd be able to forgive me sometime. At least when I didn't try to numb my mind with booze and MDMA and who knows what else. And when you finally did – God, that was definitely the happiest day in my whole life." Naomi laughed quietly as the memory flooded her mind. "At least I learned several things from that. I realized that I fell in love with you the first time I saw you although I'd just turned twelve when you stepped into our classroom in tow with your sister. And I learned that running away from something you want so much that you'd rather die than be without it is the most stupid thing you can do. And I learned that I love you so much that I can't imagine living without you. Like, ever. I just can't. What I want to say is that I _do_ want you back. I want you back so much that it hurts. I _always_ wanted you back, I was just such a fucking coward back then. But I haven't been for a while now, and I promise you I will give my best to never hurt you again. So would you….although this is probably the most messed up proposal ever….would you like to…._Jesus_…do you want to marry me? It's totally up to you, obviously, if you'd rather wait or…I don't know…I got you a ring, too, of course, it's upstairs in our wardrobe, between all those old jumpers you told me to get rid of some time ago, and-"

"Naomi."

"Yeah?"

"Shut up for a second, okay?" Emily said with a voice that was even more husky than usual. "Of course I want to marry you, you twat." Emily's face broke into a wide smile, but nonetheless she couldn't help the lonely tear that trickled down her cheek. "Of course I do. I love you, too. And I always will. Don't you ever doubt that."

"I won't." Naomi agreed with a smile that mirrored Emily's. "Ever." With that, she took the final step towards her girlfriend and sealed her promise with a kiss. "I am the luckiest woman on earth, you know that?" she whispered as soon as their lips parted.

Emily laughed and kissed her cheek. "No. That's me. Although…."

"What?"

"Wasn't there a ring in the bargain, too?" Emily asked cheekily.

Naomi laughed out loud and took Emily's hand in hers. "Yes. Let's hope we'll find it. Come on!" she laughed and dragged Emily behind herself up the stairs. While they stumbled up the final steps, she made a mental note to thank Katie for bringing that whole marriage thing up in the first place. She probably would have bidden her time for another six months before she'd finally plucked up the courage to ask her. She smiled as she thought back to the first time Katie had slapped her for kissing her sister when they'd still been kids. _Things are crazy sometimes, aren't they?_


End file.
